I have the sweetest girl here to hang out with you today. If you have not read Nicole's blog Bloom, go do it now. It's ok, I will wait.
Ok, now that you are back, I asked Nicole to come share about friendship with your boyfriend, fiance, or husband. This girl is weeks away from getting married and naturally, I thought she would be perfect for this topic.
Hey, Katie fans! I'm so honored that Katie asked me to share her space here at Unwritten for a few minutes to chat with you guys. Should I introduce myself?
via Armosa Studios
My name is Nicole and I blog at Bloom about loving Jesus, preparing to marry my fiance, and some random life happenings here and there. I love the blog world and being able to be here with you today just fires me up and makes me love it even more. I'm so thankful to have met gals like Katie who always encourage me and keep me accountable. Thanks, sweet Katie!
When Katie emailed me to ask me if I'd write a blog post about friendship with your boyfriend, fiance, or husband I thought "oh man, this'll be a breeze!" Then I thought some more. "Um... wait. What in the world do I have to say about that?" I really got to thinking. What DO I have to say about being friends with your significant other? It's funny how God works, because during the time that I was thinking about what exactly I would write, I picked up the book I've been reading, Love and Respect, and read chapter 20. Want to be humored? This chapter is titled "Appreciate His Desire for Shoulder- to- Shoulder Friendship". Oh, okay. Thanks, God. As I read through this chapter, I really began to understand more about the importance of friendship with your spouse. I talk about this from the marital perspective because that is the way the book is written and I'm also just a few weeks away from being married myself! So, even though I'll say words like "marriage" and "spouse", know that this can be applied to any stage of your relationship. :)
When we women think of friendship we think long chats over coffee, crying over our favorite love movies, discussing our dreams for the future, and occasionally a little tiff here and there. What we women need to realize and remember that while, yes, those things describe friendship with other women, they do not describe the friendship we will have with our husbands. Men simply aren't wired the way that we are.
In chapter 20 of Love and Respect the author talks about how a men communicate by sharing experiences and they "share their experiences by sharing an activity." For example, if I happen to be over at our house (I won't live in "our" house until we are married) cleaning, decorating, or cooking Tyler will often call me into the living room. I ask him what he needs and then he proceeds to invite me to sit on the couch with him. As a women, I often assume that he wants to talk or that he has something to show me. But, he often just wants me to sit. Not to sit and talk, but just sit. It's easy as a women for my mind to race about what all I "should be doing", but it is IMPORTANT to my almost husband that I sit with him. Our friendship builds when I take the time to sit and share experiences with him. Even if it doesn't seem that way to me.
I guess my point is that your friendship with your husband (or boyfriend or fiance) is going to be different than your friendships with other women. Instead of getting frustrated when your man just "wants you to sit" when you have laundry, homework, or dinner to fix, think about how that simple act is important to him. Think about what your time and presence will mean to your guy.
As we prepare to get married and spend all our nights together (is this for real!?) I'm trying my best to remember what is important to Tyler and invest in those things. I want to do everything I can to build a strong friendship with my husband. Even if I only do the simple act of sitting next to him.
via Armosa Studios
Thanks for letting me chat a little bit with your girls today, Katie. Always a pleasure. :)
Nicole, thank you so much for sharing your heart today!
If you are ever in the need of encouragement, go read Nicole's blog!